At “Home” again…

June 14, 2020 by s/v sionna 14 Comments

Closure is an interesting concept. I guess I tend to think of it as a defined border, a line in the sand (or elsewhere) that you can look at and say “There, that’s where it happened, that’s the point of change.”

But for us, and this cruise? Not so much.

We haven’t so much closed as just stopped. Stopped moving, stopped striving, stopped fretting the weather and the logistics of being a nomad in a period in history which is distinctly unfriendly to Nomads.

The Rockland Breakwater Light, which we passed at 10:35am, June 8th 2020, officially entering Rockland Harbor for the first time in nearly 4 years.

Sionna is home. On Monday June 8th, 2020, Nicki and I picked up the pennant for our mooring in Rockland Harbor, Maine, slipped it over the port bow cleat, and ended our four-year, 4800 nautical mile odyssey to the sun.

It could be said (and indeed HAS been said, many times) that we have accomplished much, and certainly on one level that’s very true. If one counts such things as miles covered, sunsets admired, storms handled and repairs accomplished, there’s no doubt that we have done something significant in the three terms we spent aboard. If we consider friendships forged, relationships tested, skills honed… Yes indeed, something of note has been experienced.

Love Cove, Southport Island, Maine.

But not without cost. Sionna is loosing paint in sheets (we nicknamed this trip the “Paint-chip Tour”), and her gear and fittings are sorely in need of serious attention. There will be no 2021 season for her or us as we begin the refit to bring her into her 6th decade – maybe no 2022 season either.
Too, the stress on Nicki and I has not been trivial, and this initial time ashore after our arrival has been largely focused on rebuilding our emotional reserves and recovering from the chronic fatigue we’ve experienced these last few months.

The question has already been asked; “When are you headed out again?” I try not to laugh – or cry.

We’re not. At least, we have no plan at this point to go cruising again. Perhaps that urge will strike, once we’ve been off the water for a year or two, once Sionna is back in shape, and floating in the harbor again. Perhaps then I’ll look back and wonder how I ever thought I’d not want to head over the horizon once more.

And perhaps ours is a cautionary tale for others who have the dream to “Sell up and go Cruising”. Hindsight is 20/20, and learning from the experiences of those who have done what you wish to do is a sure sign of maturity and rationality.

Was it worth doing? I think so. But if I’d known the cost ahead of time, the wear and tear on both the boat and the marriage, I doubt I would have so blithely dropped the mooring that sunny day in August, 2016.

This is, I suspect, the final entry in this blog. There is more to the story, of course, but the rest is too personal, too raw, too fresh in memory and nerve to be offered here for any and all to view. Much has been learned, a few dreams have been fulfilled, but far more dreams have been scattered and lost, remaining just out of reach.

I guess that’s how it is with dreams.